Tag Archives: God

Wednesday

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I once heard a song that had lyrics that sounded a but like this- “Wednesday comes in the middle of the week, the middle of the week, the middle of the week.”

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I feel like a Wednesday. I feel like I am somewhere in the middle of a big change and I am scared. Terrified.

We moved to this new portion of the Midwest full of excitment and untapped adventures and after a year here it seems like the adventures are still there but we are stuck in the middle of the journey.

We are going to be moving in January. Initially we thought we would purchase a house, but we’ve decided because of the nature of being “stuck in the middle” we are just going to rent.

I like teaching but I’m still very torn about being a working mom.

D is doing alright at his job but things could be going better. The nature of his profession makes church a place of business at times and that can be though when all you want is to grow your faith.

I am trying to find peace in this Wednesday of my life. Peace in knowing that God has a fantastic plan for this sticky middle we are in.

Tomorrow D and I have our first meeting of our small group Bible study we are leading. I am trying to remain optimistic about the whole venture.

Golly, trusting in God is hard.

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My bookworm.

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Weiner mobile!

Lucky Duck

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My grandma used to always call me a “lucky duck” and maybe I never truly understood how lucky I am.  

I am loved by a God who doesn’t see my flaws or even betters, sees them and calls them beautiful. 

I never want for food, shelter or clothing. In fact my husband would argue I have too many clothes!

I have a family who loves me for me and accepts it all.  I have a husband who loves me, honors me and is my best friend.  I have a beautiful, funny, healthy daughter.   

I know I don’t show others how grateful I am enough.  I know I fail at this daily but I have recently been reminded that I am a very lucky duck.  

Yep, Grandma, you were right all along.  I am a lucky duck. 

Pass The Modge-Podge

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According to Urban Dictionary modge-podge is “a word used to describe a confused or disorderly mass or collection of things; a “mess” or a “jumble”” OR a craft medium, “Mod-Podge” used to decoupage. Image

I love to modge-podge; the smell, the sticky, the way that a jumble of indistinct, and sometimes dissimilar items can be turned into something beautiful is SO APPEALING and forgiving.  If you mess up, just modge-podge another layer on!  You remember what is there underneath it all, there may be a bit of a bump or ridge on the final product, but that craft, that creation is yours, bumps and all. A collage of mistakes.

Sometimes…okay, honesty time, usually about three times a week, my life needs some modge-podge.  The world we live in sends out these expectations that nobody can meet.  Have a successful career (and in order to do that, bring some work home so you can stay on top of the game).  Be a mom; cleverly themed parties, quality play time, teach them their letters and numbers (before their first birthday). Okay maybe not that last bit, but it’s what it feels like.  Be a good wife (clean house, healthy meals, adore and cherish your marriage).  Be a godly woman (go to church, show your kids how to follow Jesus, be active in your faith, Bible studies, stewards of money/giving).

With all of those things above being “expected” by society it is no wonder I feel “unglued” at times.  I do realize that only I can control my life and that I am the one who let’s those societal expectations seep into my psyche, but it is so hard!

D and I have decided to run a 5k.  We are not runners, but in an effort to stay healthy and motivate one another we are doing it!  WOOT!  Well, I went for a run yesterday.  I got home, changed into my running clothes, grabbed my house key, iPod, the dog and we were off.  I had a great run.  Got home…my key wouldn’t work.  Umm….what?! I have dishes to do. I have a dinner I need to have done.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE KEY DOESN’T FIT THE LOCK!?!?! AHHHHH!!!!  I sat down on the porch and teared up.  I was trying so hard and then this little thing made me come unglued.

I try to be a good teacher.  I try to help my students learn.  I try to stay healthy and in shape.  I try to make a healthy dinner that is within our budget.  I try to bring praise to God. I try to love my husband in all that I do.  I try to give Peapod it all.  And I fail.

I need modge-podge. I need God’s modge-podge.  I need grace.

Praise God that he gives it without any strings attached.  When I become unglued I remember that God will modge-podge me back together.  He will smooth it all over with a shiny, new layer of grace.  There might be bumps, but those bumps in my life are a part of me.  They are the struggles that bring me closer to Him…and he doesn’t see those bumps.

All He sees is a beautiful crafty creation.

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The First Time – Being a Teacher

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I became a teacher.  I swore I never would.  Over and over when I was little people would tell me what a great teacher I would become.  I was in total denial.  

I chose my college, signed up for the nursing program, and then as I arrived for freshman orientation I was told that they had dropped the program.  Well, gee!  I wasn’t going to leave the school; I wanted to be there! So, instead I just went “undeclared”.  Ha!  Undeclared, as far as God was concerned I was a declared education student from the time I was born!  

I started working at the campus child care center “just for money”.  Still in denial, I continued through my first year.  And as if it couldn’t get any more obvious, I was placed in charge of teaching a class of kindergartners for a small portion of my job.  Slowly, the “just for money” job became my favorite part of the day.   

Finally, I saw the road signs.  God had once again been setting me up to become what I always was meant to be, a teacher.  I still find myself struggling against it at times and wondering “What if?” but I am trying to abide and stop chasing happiness.  God has placed me in this career for a reason and it may not be clear to me on a daily basis, but I am learning to trust in Him.  

Everyday is an adventure as a teacher.  Every day is the first time again.  Wondering what moods the kids will be in, what will and won’t be accomplished and so much more…but the best part is the unknown.  The wonder and as I like to call them, the “Praise the Lord!” moments when my kindergartners and 1st graders finally get it! 

-The Formerly In-Denial Kindergarten Teacher a.k.a. The Midwest Mom 

Encourage – Bringing Faith to Life

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Even though this is only my second post on Midwest Mom, I have already felt the tug to come here and complain.  I have resisted the urge and today as I sit down, I am so excited!  Why? Well, because some other blogger moms (Kelly’s Korner and Blue Eyed Bride) have tagged this day as a day to encourage each other and turn outward instead of inward.  

Today’s topic…faith. I am the first to say that my faith is a bumpy, stumbly road with way too many potholes.  I feel like a failure at faith sometimes…okay almost all the time.  I know, I know, a bit of a downer, especially when this is supposed to be encouraging (just stick with me). 

I lost my faith when I was really young. I grew up in the Catholic church, went to church every Sunday and mid-week catechism.  But, it was just going through the motions.  I said my prayers every night and always would pray about my grandparents, with a selfish child-like little add on of “Please let my Grandma be the last one to die, because I love her the most”.  I didn’t own my faith.  God didn’t seem real to me.  I figured he was out there but I didn’t think he was…present. And then my faith took a dive.

My grandma died.

As far as I was concerned, God killed my grandma. How could he?! How could he specifically kill my grandma after I prayed he would let her die last!?!

I was mad.  I was sad.  I just couldn’t justify this in my brain.  My parents tried to help me understand but it just didn’t help.  God was dead to me.  I hated him.

Years passed. We stopped going to church as a family.  I prayed out of habit but with no gumption or belief behind it.

Then my junior year of high school came and I met my now husband.  We started talking etc…(I’ll post more about meeting D later) and he asked me to come to church with him. I wasn’t sure about it.  Church seemed fake and God wasn’t going to listen to me anyway, so what was the point?

The point was that God had been with me everyday since the day my grandma died. He had been placing every person in my life to get me to that Sunday when I walked in with D and felt Him again.  I literally felt Him. I walked into that sanctuary and knew immediately that  He was there with open arms and always had been, waiting for me to run into them again.  

So, when I hit those bumps, those doubts, those “Why me? What’s the point?” moments, I remember the feeling of open arms and how God is right there ready to give me the biggest bear hug ever.  

So, whats your stumbly, bumbly, doubt-filled story that brings your faith to life and gives you an anchor to God?