Monthly Archives: May 2013

It’s Okay.

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I had a one of those days yesterday.  

A day when the list felt too long. The different roles I had to play too challenging.  I threw in the towel. 

“D, I am not doing these dishes. I am done with dishes.  I am done today. I can’t do it all anymore.  I can’t be a teacher, a mom, a home-maker, a wife, a chef. I can’t do it all!”

I coddled myself with iPad games and asked to have a night off from night time routine with Peapod. 

“I’m sorry I kinda threw in the towel today.” 

D’s response? 

“It’s okay. You be with Peapod, I will vacuum now and I will get up to do the dishes tomorrow morning.”

What I heard, “I love you. I am here to help. You are doing great.”

And then because Jesus knows me so well, he sends this little nugget of a devotional to my email today, “It’s okay to be okay” from (in)courage.

So, I’m okay today and that is okay.  

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Lucky Duck

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My grandma used to always call me a “lucky duck” and maybe I never truly understood how lucky I am.  

I am loved by a God who doesn’t see my flaws or even betters, sees them and calls them beautiful. 

I never want for food, shelter or clothing. In fact my husband would argue I have too many clothes!

I have a family who loves me for me and accepts it all.  I have a husband who loves me, honors me and is my best friend.  I have a beautiful, funny, healthy daughter.   

I know I don’t show others how grateful I am enough.  I know I fail at this daily but I have recently been reminded that I am a very lucky duck.  

Yep, Grandma, you were right all along.  I am a lucky duck. 

Under Appreciated

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I thought long and hard about writing this post but as the week has come to a close I just can’t keep my mouth (fingers…?) quiet any longer.  Watch out, this might get a little “ranty”.

I am a teacher.  I really enjoy what I do.  I love seeing the growth in my students over the year I get to have them.  I take pride in it.  BUT IT IS HARD!  I go home every day exhausted.  Being a teacher is not a job you leave at 5pm and without a thought of it till the next morning.  I go home and fight to turn off my “teacher-self” so I can become the mom and wife. 

A colleague and I were talking this week and lamenting the fact that we have found ourselves being more of a “mom” than a teacher to our students in recent years.  We spend so much time teaching basic manners and expectations that it sometimes overshadows the academics that we are trying to sneak in.  When did “please” and “thank you” become foreign to some children…and (cough, cough) to some parents?  

As a teacher, I spend more waking time on a daily basis with your child than you do. A fact.  (My daughter spends 8 hours a day at daycare being cared for by her teacher.)   I know who they are and I cherish them for their uniqueness.  I try to teach them 2+2, the ABC’s, basic manners and because I am in a Christian school, all about Jesus.    

All I want is a “thank you”, every once in a while.  A understanding smile when I tell you about your child’s day.  A respect for the fact that I hold a degree and I know what I am doing!  Some trust that I truly want what is best for your child. 

It is Teacher Appreciation week this week.  And all I want is a “thank you”; not an extravagant gift, coffee mug, Pinterest DIY craft or gift-card   Something has gotta change in our country, because teachers are highly undervalued and under appreciated for the work we do.  We are teaching the next CEO’s, doctors, lawyers, mothers, you name it!  

So, if you know teacher (all of you do…) say a quick “thank you” the next time you see them. It really means a lot and makes us feel a whole lot better than another coffee mug.   

Sorry for being ranty, I’m done now. HAPPY FRIDAY! HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!)

Pass The Modge-Podge

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According to Urban Dictionary modge-podge is “a word used to describe a confused or disorderly mass or collection of things; a “mess” or a “jumble”” OR a craft medium, “Mod-Podge” used to decoupage. Image

I love to modge-podge; the smell, the sticky, the way that a jumble of indistinct, and sometimes dissimilar items can be turned into something beautiful is SO APPEALING and forgiving.  If you mess up, just modge-podge another layer on!  You remember what is there underneath it all, there may be a bit of a bump or ridge on the final product, but that craft, that creation is yours, bumps and all. A collage of mistakes.

Sometimes…okay, honesty time, usually about three times a week, my life needs some modge-podge.  The world we live in sends out these expectations that nobody can meet.  Have a successful career (and in order to do that, bring some work home so you can stay on top of the game).  Be a mom; cleverly themed parties, quality play time, teach them their letters and numbers (before their first birthday). Okay maybe not that last bit, but it’s what it feels like.  Be a good wife (clean house, healthy meals, adore and cherish your marriage).  Be a godly woman (go to church, show your kids how to follow Jesus, be active in your faith, Bible studies, stewards of money/giving).

With all of those things above being “expected” by society it is no wonder I feel “unglued” at times.  I do realize that only I can control my life and that I am the one who let’s those societal expectations seep into my psyche, but it is so hard!

D and I have decided to run a 5k.  We are not runners, but in an effort to stay healthy and motivate one another we are doing it!  WOOT!  Well, I went for a run yesterday.  I got home, changed into my running clothes, grabbed my house key, iPod, the dog and we were off.  I had a great run.  Got home…my key wouldn’t work.  Umm….what?! I have dishes to do. I have a dinner I need to have done.  WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE KEY DOESN’T FIT THE LOCK!?!?! AHHHHH!!!!  I sat down on the porch and teared up.  I was trying so hard and then this little thing made me come unglued.

I try to be a good teacher.  I try to help my students learn.  I try to stay healthy and in shape.  I try to make a healthy dinner that is within our budget.  I try to bring praise to God. I try to love my husband in all that I do.  I try to give Peapod it all.  And I fail.

I need modge-podge. I need God’s modge-podge.  I need grace.

Praise God that he gives it without any strings attached.  When I become unglued I remember that God will modge-podge me back together.  He will smooth it all over with a shiny, new layer of grace.  There might be bumps, but those bumps in my life are a part of me.  They are the struggles that bring me closer to Him…and he doesn’t see those bumps.

All He sees is a beautiful crafty creation.

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“Do I really have too?”

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I am sure every parent has heard those words echoing with a whiny, nasally voice.  But if we are truthful, our kids learn this from us.

How often have we said words similar to that…”I’ll do it later”, “Next time”, “Not right now.” Or even just our actions and attitudes reflect an attitude of “Do I really have too?”

I am having a whiny day, and I am exuding an aura of “next time” and “come back later”.  School is almost over for the year, my students are at each others throats, I am tired of sounding like a broken record and don’t even get me started on my list of “Do I really have too” chores waiting for me at home.

(and here comes the kicker)

Yesterday, was Great Commission Sunday at my church.

Mmmhmm.

My pastor did a great sermon, and in between wrangling Peapod, I really got a lot out of it.  Jesus gave us a pretty simple job—-Go and tell.  Easy, right? Be nice, be careful not to get an “us versus them” mentality, even the littlest actions make a difference is showing the world that Jesus is Lord.  I left church feeling hopeful, having a renewed sense of “going and telling (doing)”

Then Monday hit and I am having such a hard time doing this.  Do I really have to teach today?  Do I really have to be positive right now?  Do I really have to go home and clean the house?  Do I really have to go for a run tonight?  Do I really have to be kind when other people are being anything but kind?

Yup.  “Go and tell [do]”.  Not so easy after all.  So, my constant prayer today is to be more like Jesus and to ask Him to help me show others through my actions and words.

Help me to go and tell in all that I do.

Matthew 28:16-20

New International Version (NIV)

The Great Commission

16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. 18 Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”