It is so hard to believe that a year ago today our little Peapod was born.
It seems like yesterday that I woke up with contractions (dreaming that I was giving birth to Michael Orr, from “The Blindside”). A year full of time I wouldn’t trade for anything! D and I had planned on an all natural birth (no painkillers, Bradley method, birthing ball, etc…) but when we got there our little girl was in distress. After seven hours I wasn’t progressing very fast and my midwife and nurses couldn’t keep Peapod’s heart on the monitor. After trying different positions and trying an internal monitor, the OB came in and said that we had to get her out, “NOW”. Scariest half hour of my life, full of emotions and tears I was wheeled to the OR to get an emergency C-Section. I will never forget how quick things passed. Suddenly, D was in there in scrubs and a mask, holding my hand and getting ready to take pictures. The anesthesiologist was the nicest man, describing things that were happening and keeping me calm. Then they said “Lot’s of pressure!” and I heard our little girl crying!
The cord had been wrapped around her neck multiple times and she was a bit blue, but she was safe and breathing and beautiful! D followed her (under strict orders not to leave her side) to the incubator and waiting nurses. I got to see her for a few minutes before they started to wheel her out and I had to stay. My heart was wrenched. They had to take her away and all I wanted to do was feel her warm little body against my skin. She was a part of me and she had to leave me for the first time in nine months.
I had to stay and get stitched up. The amazing anesthesiologist asked me what my favorite band was and put them on the OR stereo for me to listen to. It seemed like forever, but at least Hanson was playing.
D came back when I had been wheeled into recovery, we decided on her name and I finally got to hold her. I felt whole. I felt so glowingly happy and I still do.
I cannot believe it has been a year. 365 days of Peapod in our lives. There have been trying times. Times that I do miss my pre-child life, but I would never want to go back to it. Never! Peapod is the reason I exist. I cannot wait to see the future with her and I hold on to every fleeting second while it is here.